In the news this week was a report of children going hungry in Britain. The worry and stress on the parents faced with feeding their children will take a toll too - who will pay for the health bill?

click here to see report (from Channel 4)

Many people can't understand or believe that this can happen in our country, and look to blame the parents. If parents do have their values muddled and appear to care more about having a plasma TV than about feeding their children properly then they need help, not criticism, because criticism isn't going to sort out the problems, just as arguing about it doesn't either.

Meanwhile Action for Children have decided this coming week to concentrate on busting myths around foster care as "more than 90,000 children are currently in care around the UK, a 13 per cent rise since 2008"!

The trauma for children that leads to them needing to be in care is heart breaking.

I know that finding adequate foster care needs addressing, but when will the Charities, Government, policy makers, think outside the box, and start seriously addressing preventing the need for children to go into care as much as possible?

This could be done by (as I've already mentioned)  giving new parents to be better, (not less!) antenatal care, for both parents to be, including some counselling if needed. Introducing infant massage instruction in a postnatal package for all parents as standard practise, with counselling support if needed. And introducing the 'Roots to Empathy programme' to every school.

I have a dream

I love this song by the group Abba:

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream

One of the first records I brought (a vinyl) was by a group called the New Seekers, they had a no 1 chart hit with this song when I was eleven, I still sing it to myself sometimes.

I'd like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love
Grow apple trees and honey bees
And snow-white turtle doves
I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to hold it in my arms
And keep it company
I'd like to see the world for once
All standing hand in hand
And hear them echo through the hills
Ah, peace throughout the land


When I was four years old the American activist Dr Martin Luther King, delivered his famous speech entitled 'I have a dream'. King had been preaching about dreams for a few years by then.  To commemorate the 50th anniversary of that speech,  Stylist asked four campaigners for their personal call to arms for a better world.

This is an excerpt from Camilla Batmangelidgh. (for the full article see link below)

"The trouble is, ministers want easy answers to easy jobs, so that at the end of it they can present themselves as having succeeded. It’s a clever trick; only define the policy that you’re guaranteed to deliver on with ease. Who wants to talk about the rot in our children’s departments when they lack the vision to resolve it? As long as the public are not aware, there is no outcry and therefore no risk of losing your vote. Abused children are not able to hold politicians accountable, neither can they write policy or the front pages of our newspapers".

http://www.stylist.co.uk/people/I-have-a-dream

My dream is for people caring for each other and our world because they want AND are able to.

Hope

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

Emily Dickenson

Not feeling

A way to stay sane, to protect ourselves is to NOT allow ourselves to feel, to cut off from feelings that are just too distressing to cope with. I've  seen social workers admitting to this, recently via comments on Kids Company's facebook page after Camila Batmangelidgh commented on Daniels tragic case and the resulting outcry,  "professionals call it abuse but for Daniel it was torture" she wrote.  I know how important switching off can be for survival, and also how dangerous that can be too.  It seems things are worse now than they were then. But blaming social workers helps no one.

I wonder where Camila gets her strength from to allow her self to feel the pain and respond as she does, with such care. She has dedicated her life to helping children. She is my inspiration and hope.

I'd like to hear some response, does anyone else care?

"How could anybody do that!

I've heard so many people cry with out rage over Daniels story, and other similar shocking stories, they feel unable to help, cynical that yet another review, investigation or that writing to their MP will bring about any positive change. And then there are others who say terrible, then look for somewhere to lay blame, and then forget about it all by the end of the week.  Our ability to empathize to understand how another person is feeling and the ability to stay with that pain depends a lot on how our life experiences have shaped our brains. We are born with our brains hard wired for empathy, what happens to us can make all the difference as to whether we can be cruel and not feel, or be caring.

Want to learn more? See this link:

http://startempathy.org/wired-for-empathy

Action for Children response to issues raised by tragic case of Daniel Pelka | Action for Children

"There is overwhelming evidence that early intervention is the most effective way to protect vulnerable children - and we want to see the Goverment and local authorities giving it the priority it needs. Spotting problems within families as early as possible can help stop them becoming deeply rooted, with tragic consequences for children"

Action for Children response to issues raised by tragic case of Daniel Pelka | Action for Children

Problems can be spotted in an infant massage course, and if the parent wasn't willing to attend the classes that would indicate a problem that needed looking at.

Some good news from Action for Children

After the child neglect law debate was postponed until November, I’m happy to bring you some good news. We’ve just received a letter from Government Minister, Damien Green MP telling us his department are going to review the law on child neglect. This is a big step forward as it means they’ll be speaking directly with experts, including us, to review the current law and we’ll be making sure they realise emotional neglect must be included to protect the most vulnerable children. This has happened because thousands of you emailed your MP, and hundreds of them have written to the Minister, Damien Green MP. Your pressure has pushed the government into action and I can’t thank you enough for playing your part. We’ll be talking to the Minister’s staff straight away and I’ll be back in touch when we have more details to share, particularly in the lead-up to the debate in November. Thank you again for your continued support. Matt Downie Head of campaigns

Prevention please

I hope Penelope Leach's book Divorcing better will help many parents to care for their children and cut down on the amount of suffering that many children go through.

BUT we still need to do far more than produce a book that many parents stressed out or in great pain themselves will not be even able to consider the advice.

The NSPCC website states that "support through pregnancy and first year can ensure positive parenting for a lifetime. Babies under one are particularly vulnerable to abuse and neglect, they are EIGHT times more likely to be killed than other children in the UK!"

Intervention is costly and difficult and comes too late; maltreatment usually has lifetime negative affects, again being costly and difficult. A retiring judge Alan Goldsack QC stated a couple of months ago that he thought that children of criminals should be taken away from their parents and put into care!

"a dysfunctional family would often have £250,000 spent on them, ‘but if we get in early and removed children we could save thousands’."!

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2330940/Alan-Goldsack-Remove-children-criminal-families-birth-save-crime-says-judge.html.

 

He is right about the financial cost, but putting children into care is not addressing the problems and is also very costly and does little to break a heart breaking cycle. There are a number of fairly simple, low cost ways of providing a great deal of prevention which could drastically cut the need for costly intervention, costly mental health services, doctors being over run, and result in more general productivity, leading to a happy and healthier nation.

Suggestions:

1. Give all 'parents to be' antenatal support and education including counselling for any trauma or abuse they may have suffered as children. This would also give professionals the ability to be more aware of where extra support may be necessary in the future.

2. Give all new parents infant massage sessions of at very least six weeks in the 'International Association of infant massage' way that aids bonding and attachment, at the same time as supporting new parents it helps them to see their child as a person with needs as they are taught to always ask permission from the infant and respond appropriately when the infant shows when it is not welcomed. Parents learn from one another and how to communicate in a positive and respectful way with their child. This helps the child’s brain to grow healthily which enables better health all round, aiding later speech and education ability. There are many studies that show the huge benefit of infant massage.

Also still give extra support for those parents who need it, in the first two years of the child's life.

3. Introduce the 'Roots of Empathy' programme (as Scotland is) which strives to break the intergenerational cycle of violence and poor parenting. (http://www.rootsofempathy.org/) into every school AND to home educators.

It should not be up to charities to provide the support every parent needs to be successful enough parents!

Divorcing Better by Penelope Leach

Mindful Policy Group

Just discovered this which is a huge delight to me. They have a new website at ;
http://www.mindfulpolicygroup.com
I can't seem to share this via facebook, something to do with flash :/ ?

Please do write and let me know what you think if you can, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you

Delighted

Delighted to see the following yesterday evening.

http://www.actionforchildren.org.uk/news/archive/2013/april/call-to-shift-focus-to-the-prevention-of-child-abuse-and-neglect-is-welcomed

I've had quite a break from the blog, I wonder if any one is still viewing it?

problems with blogger

I've been having problems with blogger, so have been unable to post, and edit my last post or add to it, very frustrating!
It seems I am not the only one however and hope to get it sorted fully soon. I've had so much I've wanted to post about.
Here is a link to send your MP an email via Action for Children's website calling for a reform in the law to help neglected children;
http://e-activist.com/ea-action/action?ea.client.id=114&ea.campaign.id=18704&ea.tracking.id=fb

 Sky news reported a few days ago;

 "That a third of the public who had concerns about a child did not tell anyone - mainly because they did not think they had enough evidence - while 15% were worried of repercussions.

Some 14% of professionals have reported a rise in suspected child neglect over the past year and of these, nearly three-quarters believed a deterioration in parenting skills was a contributing factor to the increase.

Two-thirds believed greater poverty was to blame and more than half blamed family breakdowns."
The report is one of the most comprehensive reviews into child neglect; the second in an annual series by the University of Stirling. Six thousand members of the public, a range of professionals and 27 local authorities took part in the research.

Dame Clare Tickell, the charity's chief executive, said: "It is of grave concern that one in every 10 children could be suffering neglect.

"We know that early help has the potential to transform the lives of children and families, yet today's report tells us that the public aren't being given the know-how they need and professionals' best efforts are being hindered by stretched budgets and a lack of resources."

Action for Children wants the Government to introduce a website with a post code function to enable the public to seek the most appropriate help at the earliest opportunity for children they are worried about.

The charity is also asking the Government to meet its commitment to putting measures in place to support professionals to make decisions whether and when to intervene.

Shadow minister for children and young people, Lisa Nandy said: "It's shocking that so many more children are facing neglect and ill-treatment than this time last year. This report should act as a wake-up call."

Wouldn't it make sense to prevent as much as possible, this happening in the first place?

Help to change outdated law on child abuse !

Action for Children need help with getting an outdated law reformed. For more information see this link

http://www.actionforchildren.org.uk/campaigns/tackling-child-neglect/review-of-child-neglect-in-the-uk

Action For Children Changing The Law

Kids Company in Bristol! Positive change in the air!

Welcome back again.

Yesterday I mentioned Emotional Regulation, today Kids Company shared the news of a new place in Bristol. In this short news clip from the BBC two young lads, share how they have had difficulty with anger and how Kids Company has, and is helping them. This is great news.

link: BBC news Kids Company in Bristol!


Sadly other news was not good.
 Nursery ratios raised to 'improve standards', - sigh who are they kidding!
In an ideal world a mother would be happy to stay at home for a few years to nurture and raise her children. Sadly this is not a choice for many mothers today it seems. No carer can give the attention needed by six two year old's, for half a day let alone five days a week.

You can support the protest via this link below;

change.petitions/department-for-education-drop-plans-to-increase-child-to-adult-ratios#

Still I'm uplifted to see what appears to me to be an increase in the papers and people saying that it is total utter madness!

May be a positive change is in the air!

Climate change, Empathy and emotional regulation

Yesterday whilst enjoying the priviledge of a good meal with my husband and son (now 26!) we discussed the blog, My son gave me some feedback which confirmed some thoughts I'd had over the title post of Camila Batmangelidgh "Its not Climate Change we should be worrying about".  He disagreed, "Clearly, climate change is something that needs addressing!" he said.

I explained that whilst I believe addressing climate change is very important, I believe that what Camila is saying is that if we don't address the problem of lack of childhood care and consequential growing problems of crime and social breakdown, which is happening at a faster rate (it seems to me, but I'm no expert) then we will not address climate change; we may not survive that long! To be able to care for the environment a person from a young age needs to have had enough care in their life to develop empathy and emotional regulation to enable sufficient care for others and our earth.  Maybe that title should have been... "Its not JUST Climate Change we should be worrying about". 

I'd like to introduce another Charity with a similar message ......

 What about the children was founded in the aftershock of the Jamie Bulger murder case. The subsequent enquiry established that the two 10 year old perpetrators of this shocking crime, were themselves victims of severe neglect from birth. As they say: 

"Since 1993 the charity has worked to raise awareness about the importance of the emotional needs of children under three, for better understanding about care in the early years and its impact on future physical, emotional and mental development. When the first three years are right it brings benefits not only to the child but to society as a whole. Our main role is to inform parents and professionals alike about scientific developments, which have an impact on the way in which we bring up and educate our youngest children.
 
We work to bring to the attention of Government, policy makers and advisors and all childcare professionals and parents, the importance of these early years".


I was going to attempt to explain more about how the capacity for empathy is developed in a baby's brain but instead I want to draw attention to this fantastic programme - Roots of Empathy, which has pilot schemes now in a few schools in the uk. Again funded by charity!   Roots of Empathy programs in Newcastle are supported by Action for Children UK, and in Lewisham and Croydon by Pre-school Alliance Lewisham and Croydon Voluntary Action, with funding from Big Lottery Fund.

Apparently by the end of this academic year, more than 11,500 children will have benefited from the program since its introduction in the United Kingdom.  This scheme is in use in several other countries worldwide.

This programme as far as I can see is very exciting, and it gives me some more hope, It seems a great shame to me that it's delivery is so limited when it has a strong evidence base of independent academic research across several countries that has consistently shown the the program dramatically reduces aggression and increases social and emotional understanding among children who receive it.

 Link to roots of empathy website

 I would like to call for this programme to be made available in every primary school along with Infant massage instruction for every parent as I've explained in previous post!

"In Roots of Empathy, the innovative and inspired book based on her ground-breaking and successful classroom program and solid research, Mary Gordon shares her vision of a society of compassionate and caring children who will pass on their legacy of empathy to their own children. She believes that infusing children with empathy constitutes nothing less than a new paradigm in our approach to child-raising. It is an approach that could very well change our world."

Starfish

I've had feedback that leaving any comments is proving too much of a challenge! I'm really sorry. I struggle myself with all this computer jargon and what to do myself. But its so fantastic too! I can see that my blog has and is being read around the world! in less than a week .... How good is that? I do hope it results in some positive change!

In this time of economic struggling we can all learn so much, sadly charities are finding it hard to get the funding they need and children are suffering significantly, we can all make a difference hence today I thought I'd post the story of the Starfish, which I was surprised to hear most recently in Church at Midnight mass on Christmas eve!(I don't often go to church).  I have given this story to others since it was given to me some time ago now, I still love to read it to remind me in times of need.

If you want to leave a comment then you need to be signed into one of the account types listed (in the dropdown when you click on add a comment key) - a google account is probably the most likely. I hope that helps as its so good to get feedback and know others views. I've been really encouraged and spurred on by a lot of wonderful feed back. Thank you everyone.

The Starfish

Once upon a time there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day he was walking along the shore. As he looked down the beach, he saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So he began to walk faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn't dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean.

As he got closer he called out, "Good morning! What are you doing?"
The young man paused, looked up and replied, "Throwing starfish into the ocean."
"I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?"
"The sun is up, and the tide is going out. And if I don't throw them in they'll die."
"But, young man, don't you realise that there are miles and miles of beach, and starfish all along it. You can't possibly make a difference!"

The young man listened politely. Then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it into the sea, past the breaking waves and said, "It made a difference for that one."

 

*                 *                     *               *                  *             *              *
 

There is something very special in each and every one of us. We have all been gifted with the ability to make a difference. And if we can become aware of that gift, we gain through the strength of our visions the power to shape the future. We must each find our starfish. And if we throw our stars wisely and well, the world will be blessed.

unknown

Aims of blog and what you can do

I’ve already had some positive feedback thank you!

I do understand that everyone has busy lives, that the information on this blog may be unpleasant, easy to put off reading, or listening to the radio interview to "when you may have more time" and easy to forget. To some, from feedback I've had, it's "Shocking".  If you haven't yet listened to Camila's radio interview on the second post ("Its not climate change we should be worrying about") please please do.

In my view of our world we are one big family and need to take care of all children, not see them as someone elses responsibility

I'd like to clarify my aims in creating this blog;

1. To help publicise and hopefully make more common knowledge what is happening for many children – especially (but not only) in many cities in the UK, (e.g. lack of care from parents & services letting them down).  Many people are under the illusion that social services will take care of children when needed and are surprised to learn that this is not always the case.
2. To get support for calls for more (not less!) funding for early years and child support.
3. To suggest the simple low cost preventative measure of infant massage classes as part of health care that every parent (ideally if possible both parents, not just one of them!) would get, along with a return of more antenatal care. Currently a lot of funding for this has been, or is being cut.
4. To encourage people to take action write to your MP, support calls for better funding for early years and childcare support along with health care. - To show members of parliament that adults of voting age do care!  It seems so very wrong to me that so much childcare and support is provided by and relies on charity!
   Child line was set up 25 years ago to give children a voice! It is currently run by the NSPCC.  The following shocking facts are from the NSPCC website from 2011!
   On average, every week in England and Wales at least one child is killed at the hands of another person.
   Children under one are the age group most at-risk of being killed at the hands of another person.
   Source: London Home Office (2011) Smith, Kevin (ed.) et al (2011) Homicides, firearms offences and intimate violence 2009/10: supplementary volume 2 to crime in England and Wales 2009/2010.
5. To promote learning and understanding of brain development in the hope that it will support ending discrimination against people with mental health difficulties. To show the general public that mental health difficulties mostly (if not totally, we don't know everything) comes from how a person was nurtured (or not) as a young baby or child. To encourage the understanding that someone with what is labelled ‘mental illness’ is not ‘at fault’ and what will most likely aid recovery and why this can take time (very simply put; we generally learn quickly as a child because the brain grows quickly when we are young , for adults relearning is slow because the brain develops much more slowly when we are older).
6. To support and aid my own personal growth, to inspire others that they too can make a difference, replacing apathy with hope.

 

Fostering and adoption crisis

In the news today - Education secretary , Micheal Gove has announced that money ear marked for Sure Start and early years support is to be taken from local councils and used for a national scheme to be used for adoption!

Link to Guardian Article

Whilst addressing the short fall of people needed for adoption (and fostering) is important, emptying money from the pot of early years to partially fill another is complete folly. Especially if it's from the "prevention pot"!


Cllr Ralph Berry, lead member for children's services on Bradford council said:
"If you pull the money out of early intervention you will end up with more children who will need to be adopted... because you will have lost the services that prevent children and families getting into that situation."

 Last night after some time spent on writting up the next post, I lost everything, I hope that I will be able to rewrite it tomorrow as I want to clarify the goals of this blog. I've learnt to save everything in a different document now!

Wise funding

Welcolme back!
 If this is your first look at this blog, welcolme too, I suggest you take a look at the previous first three posts, and watch the links, to help get a sense of what Brain child is all about.

In the UK, there is a growing number of children with mental health difficulties.  This is at a time when funding for a great many child support networks have or are being cut.

 Facts taken from Mind website;

  "10 per cent of children aged five to 15 experience mental distress including:

• emotional disorders (depression, anxiety and obsessions)
• hyperactivity (inattention and over-activity)
• conduct disorders (awkward, troublesome, aggressive and antisocial behaviour)."

"The cost of mental ill health in the UK is approaching £100 billion a year with estimates predicting that by 2020 depression will be second only to heart disease as an international health problem".

It has been suggested that this increase in mental disorders is also due to the increasingly stressful lives that we all lead ...  stressed parents = stressed children 
click on link for short video of the effect of stress on brain development (only takes 2 mins)

When we have limited resources we survive if we choose wisely. There is not enough money (it appears) for all the health care needs of the world. Prevention is the best medicine! The earlier any problem is addressed the better.

There is a low cost option that is really worth funding, along with support for parents, for some parents a lot of support will also be needed, but far better to spend a little money here than a lot more later down the line. Support for expectant parents is far too low in my opinion.

Click here for short video that is a really simple low cost suggestion that helps both new parents and child bond and reduce stress  (only takes 3 mins)

I have had the great privilege and joy in the past to personally witness two parents diagnosed with post natal depression begin to really enjoy being with their baby after just three sessions of a group baby massage class, and it gave them a chance to talk to one another and not feel the terrible isolation that can be felt by many new parents struggling to do what I consider is the hardest yet most important job in the world!

Nurture and nature ongoing debate!

I can't understand why there's so much ongoing debate and even ignorance about the effect of genetic inheritance and upbringing (what drives the personality). There is a large and growing amount of science research that shows just how important the early years are for a child's development, in particular the first year of life, to a babies brain, as shown by scans of all kinds, measurement of hormones and other neuro chemicals.

The research actually backs up a lot of studies from years ago, done by observing attachment of children and even monkeys, it is also for many many people just COMMON SENSE!- Give a child love, they respond with love, ignore a child they try to get attention, ignore a child for long enough, they give up, become withdrawn and problems go on and on in their life. I could write in far more detail, but I'd be here all night (not good for me!) and you'd probably get fed up reading, so I've attached a link to a short video (by Harvard university) that just starts to explain it.

developing child brain

I believe that this supports why early years funding to support potential new parents and new parents  is vital.

"it's not climate change we should be worrying about"

I found this interveiw really worth listening too, it takes just under 29 mins. Camila mentions here, research into brain development that Kids Company are doing with UCL and cambridge university amongst others. She has previously mentioned her interest in neuroscience. I want to write more about this in the future.

Exclusive interview with Camila Batmanghelidjh

	18.01.2013, 14:21
The founder of Kids Company, a charity operating drop-in and therapy centres for abused and vulnerable children in London talks exclusively to VoR. Camila Batmanghelidjh says, "it's not climate change we should be worrying about, it's the time bomb of children suffering from emotional rot". click here to hear the broadcast Source: Voice of Russia

Why Brain Child?

Because my passion is driving me to attempt to do something positive, something that may sound overly dramatic but I believe could save our world!

I've known for over eight years (since training in infant massage and reading 'Why love matters, how affection shapes a babies brain' by Sue Gerhardt a psychoanalytic psychotherapist ) about the scientific studies that show what is needed to help prevent suffering from relationship breakdowns, mental difficulties and distress and what could foster a more caring human race with all the good for the earth that could come from that. Its really quite simple and won't cost the earth! Why haven't  people listened, to this information!

I have a heroine her name is Camila Batmanghelidjh (she apparently is dyslexic too - according to Wikipedia) she is the founder of two charities; 'Kids Company' in London and 'The Place2be'.

She is a colourful amazing women, I'd love to meet her.  Find out about her at: Camila Batmanghelidjh | Ashoka United Kingdom